Thing
by Gater101
Summary: [OneShot] John Sheppard's pretty sure it's more than a 'thing'. [Season4]


Title: Thing  
Summary: He's pretty sure 'thing' doesn't quite cover it.  
Characters: John, Carter  
Pairing: John/Teyla, John/Nancy, Teyla/Kanan.  
Rating: K  
Spoilers: Missing, Doppelganger, Seer

The tiny sliver of light dipped below the horizon, sank under the bulky waves, carried down by the planet's heavy atmosphere. The sky was an inky blue, speckled with tiny white dots. Thin milky clouds acted as a bulwark against the imposing darkness of night. A shiver ran down his spine as a cool wind whipped around the towers of Atlantis. The city behind him was dim, only a few lights on full; the rest set to sleep mode yet his body could not do the same.

He'd been awake for almost thirty six hours now; his mind refused to allow his body's demands for sleep. Whenever he lay down in his bed he would suddenly be wide awake and he'd sit up, despite the aching in the base of his skull that had quickly enveloped the rest of his body. The world often tilted on its axis and he would have to grip onto the railing beside him – which was concerning, considering he was sitting down. His eyes focussed on the obsidian sea and he was sure he could see something bobbing about in it but he knew it was his mind playing tricks on his eyes. He sighed, yawned loudly and closed his eyes.

On the blank canvas of his eyelids he could see her, hear her attempts to tell him news that he'd already heard. He hadn't said anything, not really. He'd just mumbled something akin to "congratulations" and fled. That had been almost two days ago when she'd shown up at his door after he'd managed to drag himself inside from his secret hidey-hole. He shook his head at the thought; he'd left her standing in the middle of his quarters, scared and alone – how very gentlemanly of him. He'd tried to give himself a shake, citing that he was supposed to be her friend, that he should be happy for her that she'd found a life for herself.

But he wasn't. And it wasn't just because the guy wasn't around – okay, so maybe the guy had a good reason to not be around but it was still lame. He didn't want to acknowledge what his reaction could mean. It hurt to think of her and he didn't just mean it figuratively hurt – it literally did. His stomach tightened into a tiny little knot and swayed from side to side, his head hurt at the thought of her with another man, his knees buckled when he thought of a life growing inside of her, a life that wasn't a part of him. And that last thought, that had scared him. He'd _never _wanted children – it had been a point of contention between him and Nancy in the latter part of their marriage – and suddenly he was wishing death upon a guy who he'd been quite happy to save on more than one occasion.

He'd admit he'd had dark thoughts about this Kanoe guy, thinking that Teyla would still be his if the intrusive Athosian had been culled. It was quite possibly the worst thing he'd ever thought.

But he supposed the pregnancy did throw some things into sharp perspective for members of the expedition; so much life had been lost in the past year – in the past _four _years – that this little burst of happiness was welcomed news. And he was sure that somewhere in his heart he could find it in him to be happy for her. He had to be. He'd dedicate the resources of Earth to finding her people if it meant that she would smile once more; if she could bring her child up in a stable family unit. And if Kanan was how that unit would be complete, then he'd do it.

It didn't mean he wanted to though. If he was honest, he was pretty sure he wanted to beat the utter crap out of the guy. But then he'd have Teyla to deal with. He sighed. Cons on every side. He glanced to the horizon again and saw that the indigo sky was lightening from behind him, signalling the return of the dominant orb to his cycle to reach Elysium and preside over the sky. He loved the idea that the two (or in this case six) orbs chased each other through the sky in an endless race that always wound up with the return of the Sun. The lilac haze spread across the sky quickly erasing all traces of night, the last stars fading away for another few hours rest. Shards of golden light ripped the azure horizon into strips, scorching the clouds from the sky.

He could feel the heat already and closed his eyes, welcoming the warmth as it chased the chill away.

He opened his eyes slowly and blinked a few times, squinting against the insistent light. He must have dozed off. From the corner of his eye he could make out a dark figure and he turned towards it. Colonel Carter stood beside him dressed in jogging trousers and a large sweater, her hair tied back away from her face and a small amused from on her face.

"I couldn't sleep," he groaned and stood up, stretching his back. It really did no good falling asleep hunched over metal rods. He winced as Carter raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, it looked like you were having trouble there," she said in a quiet voice. Although the Sun was fully in the sky, it was still well before six a.m. Earth time so not many people in Atlantis would be up and about. He was surprised to see Carter out and about, considering the week they'd had. "You have a..." she pointed to her forehead and John clumsily lifted a hand there and smiled sheepishly.

It also did no good to fall asleep with one's head leaning against said metal bars, he thought.

"You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep." He nodded. He definitely knew that feeling. "Though I still found my bed to be a lot more comfortable thinking spot than an uncomfortable, public balcony." She said knowingly and John glanced away.

It wasn't that he didn't like Carter, it was just that he didn't really know her. Not enough to feel comfortable with her giving him advice. Though he wasn't sure her sentence construed as advice. Actually, he wasn't sure he was even making sense in his own mind. He felt his shoulders sag, felt his knees protest against keeping him held up for so long. He really needed to lay down.

"I should probably... go," he muttered as signalled inside with his finger.

Carter nodded and he returned the gesture before brushing past her, sending her a cursory – albeit tired – smile. He reached the door and was surprised to hear her calling his name. He turned to her and waited, not really caring to interpret the look of sympathy on her face.

"I..." She faltered slightly and he raised his eyebrows. "It took me almost marrying someone else before Jack and I finally realised just how much we... cared for one another."

She didn't say anything else; just smiled, nodded and jogged away.

He didn't move for quite some time; he was pretty sure he had just imagined the conversation that had just taken place because there was no way Carter had just said to him what he thought she said to him. What was it with people thinking he had a thing for Teyla? That her pregnancy bothered him beyond the norm?

And as he walked towards his quarters he confirmed to himself through a series of complicated thought processes that he did in fact _not _have a thing for Teyla Emmagan.

He was pretty sure 'thing' didn't quite cover it.


End file.
